Went out last night with Jay for Mardi Gras. I think I'm going to stop talking to people about our problems because every time I tell people the story they tell me to break up with him and I don't really want to.
But things feel bad--they feel choked up.
I feel so bad--in a way that extends to everything.
My appetite is gone. Which is okay. I've lost more weight.
But even things like magazine ads look strange to me. Women in makeup look strange to me. I don't want anything. Anything at all. I don't want god, I don't want a new purse, I don't want to look pretty. I just want to work and sleep and have other people bring me food.
I'm sitting in an Italian restaurant, waiting for Nick. He gets out early today and wanted to have lunch with me. It's weird going to a restaurant and waiting for my kid to meet me.
Well, I don't want to write for a whole 1/2 hour today. I'm too sad.
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