Shit

Watched Stranger Than Paradise with Lilly. Lilly looks a lot like the actress who plays Eva. It's 22 days late. One of my New Years Resolutions is not to do stupid things with my money--like get parking tickets and late fees. Last year I spent $500 on parking tickets, and god knows how much on late fees at Cherry Street Video. They're the only place who lets me rent videos. I have a real problem returning them. I always do, eventually, and I always pay, but I mean, it's five minutes away from my house--why can't I remember to return my movies? What is it I want to avoid/sabotage? Why can't I leave the house 5 minutes earlier in the morning so I don't have to park in the CEO's spot in the parking garage and get a ticket? Why can't I remember to put change in the meter downtown? I mean, really. Aren't I too old for this crap?
Nick is slamming around looking for his glasses. Blaming Lilly. Lilly finally got out of bed , walked into the living room and found them immediately.
Lilly is the finder.
Whenever any of us lose anything, we go to Lilly. And she finds it. One time, Lilly didn't have school and was sleeping in and Nick couldn't find his geometry textbook. We turned the house upside down. We woke Lilly up, finally, and half asleep, she shuffled right over to where it was and handed it to Nick. Then she went back to bed. She holds this ability over us: "I'll only find the keys if you promise to let me go to the moview with Amanda...'
Speaking of geometry, Lilly flunked it this semester. She picked the right day to bring home and F, though. We had admitted a 14-year-old head trauma that morning. My former preceptor from the ER, Grass, was there. "Just don't go in there, Haley. I'll tell you everything you need to know." Grass protects me.
So that night, Lilly hands me her report card. "Are you mad?"
But I wasn't. I was just so glad that she was mine and sitting at the table, alive, telling me about it.
Today kind of sucked, which was too bad, because I was really excited about coming in to work.
Transferring my patient today, his Swan Ganz came out. Diverticulitis. Bowel perfed. Septic from stool in his belly. Open abdomen, dialysis, vented, ostomy, arterial line, mahurkar. So much to catch on. Poop is so damn important. I used to make fun of my poor grandfather for being so obsessed with it.
Be obsessed. Eat lots of veggies and drink lots of water and be very sure to poop each and every day.
Foot long floaters.
Ah! Zen moment! Your own shit is what gets you....waste is as important as consumption.
If your nose is covered with shit, shit is all you will smell. That's a favorite of Seido's.
So anyways, that is the first time I have ever lost a line on a patient. The first! Wiz was really mean about it. "I can't believe you did that. You're going to have to PSN yourself."
And the resident: "How did that happen? What is wrong with you nurses today? Everybody's losing lines and tubes. You have to be more careful."
I almost cried. I was so pissed off at myself. I've been nicer to Wiz when he screws up.
James, one of our newer nurses--one who really annoys me, usually, came in the room where I was slamming around, hiding out.
"You know," he says, "everybody pulls out a line at some point. This guy has more stuff sticking out of him than an octopus, you took every precaution--6 people helped you transfer him--and you were doing it for his own good, so don't feel bad. You didn't hurt him. He's okay."
"What are you doing?" I asked him.
"I'm giving you the exact same pep talk you would give me." He grins.
"Thank you."
And then I remembered "I take refuge in my own good nature" and there it was, waiting for me. like a big comfortable chair, easy, warm and amused. "Oh, there you are, " I said to myself, and just hung out in it the rest of the day. Nice I spread enough of it around so that someone was holding a little of it to give back to me.
Wheww. We're all in this together, aren't we?
That's my 1/2 hour